Twenty and twelve in twentyfifteen

That was a lame title. I’ll even acknowledge that. Someone has been too lazy busy to blog.

I ran twenty miles last Saturday (MapMyRun says 21.5 but I trusted the running group’s Garmins over my app) and it felt GREAT. I intentionally paced with the 11:30 SCRR group and recognized some people from the 18-mile run. I’m a damn introvert as much as He makes them, but it was nice to have the support from familiar faces.

The 20-mile course was a marathon preview course – we ran many of the same roads that I will run in FOURTEEN DAYS OMG that just hit me.

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One of the bridge crossings is the Birmingham Bridge – my oft-trained friend. (Side note – as I go back and edit, click on the link that I added above. Talk about a mindshift – only 11.5 miles now?!) It’s amazing to me that no matter where I am in my run, whether I’m at 6 miles or 13 miles (that’s where the BB is in the real marathon,) I own.that.bridge. I know that bridge like I know the back of my hand. I know how it inclines, I know where it’s more gravelly…that bridge is mine. It’s always a confidence booster when I run it – I ended up going in front of the pacer during that stretch. (Then we hit the arduous Forbes hill and all the good feelings were gone.)

Likewise, I ran twelve miles yesterday and chose to run from my neighborhood to the Three Rivers Heritage Trail, a bit on there, and back to my apartment.

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I’ve been training Three Rivers since I moved here in 2010. Though they have updated the trail and made it nicer (especially in the Millvale stretch,) it still remains the same in terms of incline and mud. There’s always a part near the Alcosan drain where it smells like crap, and the perennial bulbs (my favorites are the red tulips) greet me year after year.

I juxtapose these two experiences in a reflection that confidence gets you everywhere. There’s a large difference between “I think I’ve got this” and “I’ve got this.” Through the last year, as I’ve strengthened my self-esteem and refilled my tank of self-love, I’ve developed a sense of faith and courage. I won’t lie, it does still scare me a bit to type this, but this year I don’t have to worry about finishing the marathon like I did last year. This year, I just wonder if I’ll be faster or slower than last year. I have the confidence and courage to know that I will finish, because my mental fortitude is strong and it dominates any sort of physical flaw that I could anticipate. (Minus breaking a leg or something.)

And that confidence and self-love is God-given. As I develop my poise and determination, I realize that God is perpetually there for me. He always has been, is, and always will be. My faith in running across the Birmingham or Three Rivers doesn’t even compare to His confidence and belief in me to do His will during my time on this Earth. Thank you God for being my #1 fan.

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About CMN

She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs at the days to come.
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