Unintentional detox

Pittsburgh summer spring is in full swing, replete with humidity and random downpours. On a whim the other day, I found myself near the North Shore and decided to go for a run on one of my favorite routes, the Three Rivers Heritage Trail. I keep a full set of running clothes and shoes in my trunk, along with an extra Spibelt and inhaler, so I can indulge whenever the mood strikes me.

I parked, put on my Spibelt, and then went to put on my headphones…and then they weren’t in my running bag. They were nowhere to be found. It was then I remembered that I had two sets of Yurbuds in my ‘outdoor running’ box at home, and it all made sense. I must have forgotten to put them back in the bag.

I was already dressed, arrived, etc, so I sucked it up and put my phone in the car. I was going to run this route off the grid. For those of you who know me, I can’t function without music. When I’m at home, SOMETHING is playing. I cook to Vince Guaraldi, write to classical (Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring, my favorite classical piece of all time, is playing as I type,) run to rock and rap, and usually put on chill house music when I’m…at the house. Haha. I was a bit anxious if I’d be able to push on without Lil Wayne screaming in my ear.

I did roughly 5 miles from the 31st Street Bridge to PNC Park and back. I found myself wishing I had my phone…to take pictures of the skyline, to know what mile I was on and what pace I was accomplishing, to listen to music. Granted, I could have taken my phone with me, but I saw no point.

But as I turned around and headed back to my car, I actually started to relish not having my phone. It was giving up a semblance of control in a sense. My pace and mileage are near and dear to me, and NOT being able to know exactly what I was doing was liberating. I had to trust in myself and focus on how the run felt (humid) and how I felt (hungry, needs coffee.)

On the way back, I saw a family of geese and goslings and stopped for awhile to watch them. If I had had my phone with me, I would have been all worried about pausing and restarting and how much time I was ‘wasting.’ In retrospect, I don’t do much living in the moment – and it was a good wake-up call to realize that I don’t have to control everything in my life.

In vinyasa flow yoga, another major hobby and favorite workout of mine, a common intention that we set for ourselves at the beginning of class is to allow our minds to focus, ironically, on nothing. And it’s the hardest thing to do. Savasana is a pose at the end of class where you just lay down and breathe without fidgeting or moving. I’ve gotten so meditative before that I literally lose sensation in my limbs, and it’s just my thorax and abdomen and head on the mat. Sounds freaky, but it’s actually thrilling.

Today? I was distracted and started making a to-do list for when I got home. STOP IT CORINNE BRAIN. I sure have a lot of relaxing and meditation to learn in my life. This tightly wound spring needs to stretch.

About CMN

She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs at the days to come.
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