Juggling

Lately my school has had some bad events occur. Nothing I really want to get into on here at this point, but this week alone we have the anniversary of this event.

I’ve felt overwhelmed already by the mere thought of training; yet I forget that running is my strongest stress reliever. It’s the same old story on here – too much going on, too little time.

In church today, the offertory anthem was “The Spirit of the Lord is Upon Me.” I nearly started crying while being surrounded by the majestic organ and ethereal choir. The anthem is based on Isaiah 61:1-3, 11. Here I break it down, along with my thought process. (Song is in italics, my thoughts are not.)

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; He hath sent me to heal the broken-hearted, to preach deliverance to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to preach the acceptable year of the Lord; to give unto them that mourn a garland for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.”

Man, that sounds like about everything I’m tasked to do in a day. So many professions juggled in being a teacher – counselor, chef, nurse, psychologist, coach, and – oh yeah – educator. Too many tasks, not enough hours. Not enough mental fortitude to do this times 100ish students, much less the ones who visit for love every day that I don’t even have as students. (Bless them just the same.)

That they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord that He might be glorified.

How can I possibly do this all to Your will, God? And furthermore, how can I do it well? Because to do anything to less than my capability, especially in Your name, just isn’t me. I can’t handle everything you’re giving me here.

For as the earth bringeth forth her bud, and as the garden causeth the things that are sown in it to spring forth, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all nations.

The imagery here is strong. Buds/flowers and gardens? Those take months and months to develop. Maybe those adjectives are intended to be for a lifetime, not a day. And furthermore, those things always come back. Perennial ones, anyway. Maybe my life is like the perennial creeping phlox – showy flowers in some seasons, but the greenery is ever-present and dependable. Like You, God. Super-present in some phases of my life – like my divorce and tough days at school – but you are always there.