I’ve ruminated on these thoughts for awhile, but today was the fruition of it all.
The long and short- Bob and I went hiking in Frick Park about a week and a half ago, and I hyperextended the right PCL in my knee by hauling ass up a hill from a semi-creepy dude walking near us. I felt lots of stretching all week in the PCL and heard lots of clicks, so I took it easy and stopped running.
This is problematic when you’re running the Great Race 10K in a week.
Granted, it was hard to take that time. I can’t explain why, but taking time off and deliberately not running made the muscles in my thighs feel weird. I was a biology major and teach biology/anatomy, so I’m not going to say that my muscles completely atrophied…that’s not how it works. But I definitely had weird feelings in the muscles.
I wrapped my knee this morning, hoped for the best after staying off it for a week and a half, and ran the 10K. I was nowhere near as fast as last year, but finished in 1:09. My asthma has also been screwy lately thanks to fall allergies, so I also got to contend with that.
I’ve decided that maybe long distance running (anything over a 5K or maybe a 10K) is out for me for awhile. It just doesn’t make my body feel good, and I always have this awful pressure in my head to beat previous times. If I had to sum up the reasons why I run right now, they would be
- To maintain my weight/figure
- Because I’ve defined myself as a runner since 2008.
These aren’t exactly inspiring reasons to run, Corinne. And for someone who is such a stalwart to change, maybe this 10K was the ironic push I needed. Maybe this is the time I explore different sports and activities. I’ve always been an active yogi, but maybe I take the plunge and go back to swimming and ballet classes and who knows what the heck else. If I’m lucky and maintain my body and health, running will always be waiting there for me.
And to get a little deeper…I ran my marathons in 2014 and 2015. Two of the roughest years of my life. As I put it to a trusted friend earlier…maybe I was spending my time literally running away from my life. But, thank God, my life has improved in so many ways to the point where I don’t have to run away anymore. And so that love has waned.
I’m not going to pretend that this was an easy decision, or I don’t feel immense guilt already. Because how do you say “Let’s go on a break, it’s not you, it’s me” to an old and trusted love? But the only way we grow is by challenging ourselves. And maybe a different passion awaits me.